All About Me

I always want to tell people about my life. I want to tell them about the time I got stuck in New York with no money and no place to stay. I want to tell them about the time Tyler The Creator held my hand, sized me up, and then winked at me a couple weeks ago. I want to tell them about how I kissed Lucky Blue Smith last year. But the problem is I know no one cares. No matter how cool or funny they think the story is they don't care. And I don't blame them. 

I remember the sentence that changed my life. It wasn't something beautiful like Steve Job's was. It wasn't someone's last words and in fact it wasn't poetic in any way. It was two years ago. I was crying in my pink sweatpants walking along the road. Snow was turning my toes purple and I could hear my heartbeat every where but my chest. My friend Toby drove by conveniently and stopped and looked at me. And then he got out of his car and held me and said "Grace. Out of all of the girls in our friend group me Josh and Braiden decided we want to kiss you the most." Nothing beautiful but hey the day my dad left wasn't beautiful either but it affected me forever. What he said raised my below sea level self-esteem and it forever will and I honestly don't know why.

I believe in fate more than anything else. Everything happens for a reason is engraved on my forearms and every time something happens all I have to do is look down to remember it's supposed to happen. I believe everyone you meet is supposed to be in your life even that girl you've never talked to who sits two desks away from you in your math class.

I hated lone peak. Not because of the classes and not because of the hallways but because of the people and their obsession with materials and status.

I regret everything after I say it.

My best friend comes home from his mission in a month and I'm scared he won't love me like he used to.

I'm scared of boys in general.

I taught myself how to play the ukulele and I am obsessed with it.

Nelson said "not even the magicians can hold a moment in their hands." And that quote is my favorite in the whole universe of quotes. I'm afraid if I could hold them in my hands I'd drop them. I swear all the time and everytime I'm by myself I whisper hello to myself to make sure my voice still works. I love when the grass is super duper green and I love the look of water. I'm sorry sometimes I was a torist with the sunscreen lining my nose and all but I was listening. I was always listening. I was just too comfortable in the silence. I'm sorry.

SO PEACE OUT LONE PEAK SEE YA NEVER

I remember

I remember the day my dad left. I remember the silent house and the ham and cheese hot pockets I ate for every meal. I remember packing bags to move far away and I remember the way the whole city I moved to smelled like flowers. I remember sneaking out of my window that one night and cutting my knee. I remember the twinkly lights above my head when I realized I was truly happy. I remember playing the organ and pretending we were the organist from church. I remember holding hands and dancing underneath the street lights at 3 A.M. I remember pulling out the grass from the ground and throwing it at each other. I remember going to Arby's everyday and getting curly fries. I remember it all. I remember all the good times. And the bad times. And ten years from now I'll be nostalgic about the new good times and bad times I had. I guess that's the best thing about life. It. Goes. On.