Falling In love with me

Falling in love with myself has always been a foreign concept to me. Each time I looked in the mirror I didn't see my bright blue eyes that hold secrets as deep as the ocean or my lips that like to whisper "I love you". I see the width of my thighs and the acne that makes my heart feel as though I can't be beautiful without makeup. But, learning to love yourself is far easier than I used to believe.

Someone turned to me the other day and told me "When I see a beautiful girl walk into the room, I focus on how her beauty doesn't take away from mine, its just another beautiful person in the room with a soul louder than anyone could ever imagine." That hit me hard. That changed me forever.

Loving yourself isn't a step by step process but a change of mind set. My smile is just as bright as the girl next doors even though I haven't been to the dentist in over two years. My heart aches like hers and I can yell "CHEERS" just as loud. I am beautiful just being myself.

I have accepted myself for who I truly am.

Now I can flourish.

My First Real Heartbreak

If I were a surfer he would was my wave
and now suddenly the water is still.

Tonight was the first time I've ever stood up for myself
And put myself out there
With my heart on a line so thin it seemed invisible to those around

I told my best friend I was in love with him tonight
It didn't go as planned..

But what ever really does go as planned?

I planned on having fruit for breakfast and I ended up eating oatmeal so I guess nothing ever really does go the way you think it's going too.

So, this is how it feels.

That very first heart break.

 I swear my heart cracked so loud the whole universe could hear and the stars cried for me.

With me.

With us.

Goodbye Matthew.