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Thursday, January 28, 2016

I am my experiences pieced together.... but what does that even mean?

I am a hopeless romantic who dreams of a love that lasts forever. 

The reality is there is no love in my life, theres just a monster under my bed and my un-holdable hands reach underneath so he can take a little part of me each morning. 

I am insane.

I think I lost my heart when it broke for the first time.

I am lonely.

I’m not the worlds best optimist. I am just the worlds worst pessimist. 

The glass is definitely not half full, nor is it half empty. In fact, theres no glass at all, I am not good enough to have a glass. 

At least thats what the church told me when I stopped going. 

I tried praying last night and it didn’t work again. What’s wrong with me?

I am confused.

I drink coffee more then I tell my mom I love her and I can’t remember the last time I had pancakes. 

I don’t know whether or not the world is spinning or it’s just my head.

I think I was genetically made to disappoint people.

I don’t love myself like I should.

Maybe you see me in the halls and think, “Oh, she must have it all together.”

I don’t.

Confidence is an old friend who packed up all of his stuff and left. 

I held his arm begging him to stay but, he just left me. 

How am I still surviving? 

How do I walk the halls of Lone Peak without him? 

I don’t know, but I sure do hope he comes back soon.

I am insecure.

I am lots of tears and long drives.

I am bright lights in big cities.

I am a good music and slipper’s enthusiast.

I am sick of writing this introduction because it just makes me sad.

I hate wearing converse and I haven’t kissed a boy in a really….really…..really long time because I am tired of being hurt.

But isn’t it essential to be hurt? 

The world is just this giant oyster and I don't know if mine came with a pearl.
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16 comments:

  1. Savannah FluhmanJanuary 28, 2016 at 9:36 PM

    no one was born to disappoint people. even you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kay MokitaJanuary 29, 2016 at 11:03 AM

    I love how honest this whole post is
    Nice to meet you

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tiffany Gibbons (Tiff; She/Her)January 29, 2016 at 6:35 PM

    This gave me chills, and I can't often say that and mean it literally. I promise you are worth so much more and have so much more potential than you even know. I can already see that. This post is so real. Nice to meet you, and I will be back for more.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jayne SoleilJanuary 29, 2016 at 9:37 PM

    this is amazing. thanks for being real. it's refreshing.

    also look up Bright Lights and Cityscapes by Sara Bareilles. idk why I just think it's a good song and you like lights and cities. yah.

    ReplyDelete
  5. chali2naJanuary 29, 2016 at 10:00 PM

    Pure honesty. That's a beautiful read. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Charlie BlueJanuary 30, 2016 at 8:58 AM

    I think I was genetically made to disappoint people.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Malia Helbling January 31, 2016 at 7:05 PM

    "Confidence is an old friend who packed up all of his stuff and left."

    ReplyDelete
  8. brusque teenJanuary 31, 2016 at 8:17 PM

    wow. I can't chose my favorite part. This is great, and i thought the song fit the post very well.

    ReplyDelete
  9. GajdosJanuary 31, 2016 at 11:15 PM

    Sorry but you got me hooked on the first line
    "I am a hopeless romantic who dreams of a love that lasts forever. "
    Great style of writing.
    #Quality
    P.S. same way I write.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Charlotte RoseFebruary 1, 2016 at 2:13 PM

    "But isn't it essential to be hurt?"
    It is, and maybe that's not completely a bad thing. I really loved this post.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dear DelilahFebruary 1, 2016 at 5:21 PM

    "I don't love myself like I should" I don't think anybody really does. It's hard & I like how you brought that up #realtalk

    ReplyDelete
  12. Always Marching February 2, 2016 at 2:26 PM

    I love your post and your songs are unreal!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Toxic RosesFebruary 3, 2016 at 2:28 PM

    Wow. I freaking love this. Well done. I loved all of it and could relate.. I definitely will be coming back.

    ReplyDelete
  14. brusque teenFebruary 3, 2016 at 11:08 PM

    ok who are you..? we would get along. at least that's what our music says.

    ReplyDelete
  15. chloe bealeFebruary 6, 2016 at 8:41 PM

    The world is just this giant oyster and I don't know if mine came with a pearl.chills. #stolen

    ReplyDelete
  16. AmbivalentialFebruary 22, 2016 at 10:24 PM

    I can't just pick a favorite line. Or two. Or three. Can I just take it all?

    ReplyDelete

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