Quantity vs. Quality

I’m tired of the parties.

I am tired of the hundreds of friends who I spend so much time laughing with.

I am tired of the boys who I hang out with because they are hot and I want to put them on my snapchat story.

I am tired of the apps on my phone and the music on the radio.

I am tired of this life I am living.

The fun I am having at those parties is simply fake and staged.

Those hundreds of friends that I am constantly laughing with only talk about boys and shoes and the second I need someone to hold me and listen I am suddenly shut out and completely alone.

The boys I hang out with are mean to me and the snapchats I post of those tan blonde hair blue-eyed boys is just me catching them in one good moment. The one good moment I have that whole night.

Twitter, instagram, snapchat, and vsco are tearing me apart one like, one picture, one video, and one follower at a time and the music on the radio honestly just sucks.

My life that looks so fun from the outside isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

Don’t take this the wrong way… I am not depressed. Nor am I sad all the time, I’m not always faking my smile.

But, I have wasted so many hours being with people who couldn’t care less if I am actually having fun because at this age we are all too selfish to worry if the kid in the back of the car is having a good time.

I want to stop giving away my kisses.

I want to spend my time with people who don’t just wipe my tears but make those who caused them wish they didn’t.

I don’t want to feel alone at that party or in the car with all my “friends”.

I don’t deserve this and neither do you.

Lets put down our guard and do the taboo of acting sad when we are sad.

Lets skip a party and spend the night at home with those people who spend time with you even at your worst.

Because it’s not really about the quantity of friends you have it’s about the quality.

We find ourselves lost in this world of popularity and we are so focused on how many friends we have.

Let’s just focus on who we have.

Because the nights you spend with anyone other than the people you love are wasted nights and our lives are too valuable to waste even a night.

You are worth something even if you only have two friends.

Or no friends.

Because we as humans are worth more than we can even comprehend.

Don’t spend your time with people who don’t deserve it.